Making the Most of It is the Least I Can Do



My virtual countdown to that far-too-real day reminds me that I have four weeks to prepare. On that day, I will be admitted to the hospital to await my yet determined heart. It could be two months. It could be a year. Plus there is likely two months of in-patient recuperation after the transplant. A year? Mon Dieu!

I have tried for several weeks to accept this phase with optimism. I’d like to say that I shall make the most of the solitude, mediocrity, and the unyielding routines that prevent any REM sleep for over four hours. My hands are thrown high into the air above me.

Jon will just have to teach Henry to Skype. Speakerphones perplex him so I foresee a challenge. The thought of not spending such a timespan with my pets is terrifying on the side of dread.

I might be able to coax someone to smuggle a BLT from Merritt Grill. Beyond that, the “heart healthy” low sodium menu has me swooning with anticipation. Coffee. Tea. Blueberry bread. Decent salad dressings. My diet will endure the sticker shock while I remind myself that, one day, I will hopefully have a new heart.

I continue to not have much energy to complete even simple tasks. This very blog and Facebook are becoming too difficult. That’s where Pinterest and Twitter will come in handy.

Perhaps what scares me the most is that, regardless of timelines, Jon will spend a long, long time at home alone. He’ll likely play the “stoic trooper” card, but I know how that hand ends.

My mind is spent so I must close. I just wanted to stop by and say “aloha” and “shalom”.

The accompanying image is a portrait of Claude Monet while he endured a summer confined to a bed in a field hospital. I look at often now that I use it as a wallpaper image for my tablet. It makes me laugh.

I am just a tad envious about the bed size though.


(Image: “L’Ambulance Improvisée” by Jean Frédéric Bazille, 1865.)

4 thoughts on “Making the Most of It is the Least I Can Do

  1. I’ve been following your blog for a couple of years, and as a result and your set an example to all of us with chronic conditions. you continue to be graceful and creative throughout your trials and tribulations. wishing you the best on this next part of your journey. love

  2. Good luck in this adventure. I’ve been playing the “stoic trooper” myself for a while. My spouse calls the hospital stays his spa treatments. It seems to help re-framing things where you can. My thoughts are with you and I’m sending what energy I can your way.

  3. I just read your “Making the most of it…” and just want to encourage you to hang in there. As you know I’ve been through two transplants, lung and kidney. Although I didn’t have to stay in the hospital until the organs came, I do have a few words of “wisdom” or experience if that’s what we can call them. One is to do whatever exercise you can do, even if it is only some walking or even chair stepping. Since I was on the UNOS Thoracic Transplantation Committee, I learned about heart tx as well. I really doubt that you will wait a year although a few weeks or even a month or two might be possible but NC gets lots of offers, mostly from FL. Another idea that I had after I was inpatient after some drug sent my heart into all sorts of arrhythmias was to send Judy home, it was snowing in January here, and we could do Face Time on the iPads. Works great and we use Wi Fi at home and the hospital so no additional costs. Yes, the hospital is no place to get sleep or good food. Whatever you do be COMPLIANT and don’t pull any tricks like sneaking Henry or any of your cats into the hospital 🙂 Not sure what you are going to do about the cats when you are on immunosuppressants, for lungs we can have them but we can’t change litter. You probably don’t need to pack much, just some comfortable undergarments, sweats, and most of all good slippers! Send me your hospital name and room number and I’ll give you a call; outside contact will alleviate the boredom. Hope all goes well and goes quickly!

    • I’ve been waiting since May 22, 2013. A heart did become available last September but Medicaid had a blip and a nyet. Don’t worry: I’ve been compliant as a rule. Last year, I was in the hospital 54 days and behaved. Medication helped. ❤

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