Graffiti on the Wall of Sir H. Alistair Dumpty


Little is known about Sir Humpty until he moved to the United States, finally settling in the “Big Over Easy” in 1891. He has enjoyed a colorful and proud tradition in politics, nursery rhymes, theater, and local military skirmishes.

He was married to both Mitzi Gaynor and Angie Dickinson, the latter having taken acting classes from our ovoid buddy. The group would normally meet after breakfast at his exclusive and private mansion in Brentwood, once the home of superstar Karen Valentine. He is, of course, famous for having pioneered the Hump Your Method Theory of different levels acting.

He has been the subject of many biopics for Merchant-Ivory, and regularly appears on TVLand. His story is highly sought after by many distinguished biographers, from Jacqueline Susann and Jackie Collins to the less intellectual, yet mature Readers Digest.

Humpty appeared in the Buffalo stage presentation of Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking-Glass (1872). He was in all his glory, mesmerizing the audience and sctors alike. In this scene in Act I we find the celebrity he discussing semantics and pragmatics with Alice:

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘glory,'” Alice said. Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously.

“Of course you don’t—till I tell you. I meant ‘there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!'”

“But ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’,” Alice objected.

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master? That’s all.”

Alice was far too puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. “They’ve a temper, some of them—particularly verbs, they’re the proudest—adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs—however, I can manage the whole lot! Impenetrability! That’s what I say!”
Les Massages et ménages débridées sont disponibles, peut-être, les Ménages aux dixieme.

Quelle que soit la saveur.. Je préfère les œufs pochés herbes des agriculteurs avec quelques herbes sacrificielles, principalement de noix de muscade, et certains Garlique finement hachée.

Sir Alistair is remarkable: well-educated, distinguished, talented, skilled in carpentry, and fluent in Esperanto. But he does get a bit riled if a fan is rude and improper.

It is ever so rare but that is the only time you’ll ever hear him say, yet oh quite sternly: “Eat me!”

I tremble.

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